“When you are your own best friend, you don’t endlessly seek out relationships, friendships, and validation from the wrong sources because you realize that the only approval and validation you need is your own.” – Mandy Hale
While its no question that relationships, whether it’s we have with our significant other, our family or friends, are to be cherished, the most important and by far the longest relationship we will ever have in our life is the one we have with ourselves. With that said, many of us fail to invest the necessary time and effort that we need to nurture this special relationship and somewhere along the way, we find ourselves feeling separated from our true self to the point that we end up treating ourselves as if we are our own worst enemy.
In the past, though i was kind and generous to others, I did not particularly reserve the same kindness and generosity to myself. Admittedly, I was relentlessly hard on myself – constantly pushing to achieve perfection which was never attainable to begin with. As a result, I often beat my self up whenever I came short of my sky high expectations with self defeating talk which almost always lead to the conclusion that I was not good enough.
Looking back, I realized that this destructive behavior is nothing short of abusive. Fortunately, before I could do any more harm to myself, I was able to make drastic measures to change my thought patterns. What really made me commit to this life altering decision was that it became clear to me that whatever one believes about themselves on the inside is what manifests on the outside. In other words, we can’t have a positive life with a negative mind for our life is a direct reflection of who we are hence in order to create our best life, we must make the effort to become the best version of ourselves.
It also became apparent to me that we simply can not expect others to love and have faith in us if we do not love and have faith in ourselves first because the only validation that we truly need is one that we give to ourselves. I became acutely aware of my thought and decided to make sure that I shower myself with the kindest, most loving encouraging words on a daily basis. Whenever negative self talk appears, I made a conscious decision to replace them with positivity and eventually, I was able to succesfully turn the destructive relationship around and became my very own best friend.
Learning to wholeheartedly love myself, flaws and all, was one of the biggest and most important life lessons i’ve learned thus far. I’ve come to understand that how others see us is not nearly as important as how we choose to perceive ourselves. While letting go of negative self talk that we’re so accustomed to may not be a breezy walk in the park, it is the only way that we can start to allow ourselves to become the very best version of who we are and to create the life that we’ve always dreamed of.
It’s time for all of us to let go of self defeating chatter and make the decision to treat ourselves with the same compassion, kindness and encouragement we would extend to our loved ones. Stop making yourself the enemy, instead, choose to become your biggest raving fan – your very own best friend.