“When you are your own best friend, you don’t endlessly seek out relationships, friendships, and validation from the wrong sources because you realize that the only approval and validation you need is your own… ” – Mandy Hale
Deep down, we all know that the most important (and by far the longest) relationship we will ever have in our life is the one we have with ourselves.
Unfortunately, many of us fail to invest the necessary time and effort that we need to nurture this special relationship.
And somewhere along the way, we find ourselves feeling separated from our true self to the point that we end up treating ourselves as if we are our own worst enemy.
In the past, though I was always doing my best to be kind and generous to others, I didn’t necessarily reserve the same kindness and generosity towards myself.
I was relentlessly hard on myself – constantly pushing to achieve perfection which was never attainable to begin with.
As a result, I often beat myself up whenever I came short of my sky high expectations with self defeating talk which almost always lead to the conclusion that “I was not good enough.” This also made it difficult to set healthy boundaries with others.
Looking back, I realized that this destructive behavior is nothing short of abusive. Fortunately, before I could do any more grief, I was able to make drastic measures to change my thought patterns.
What really made me commit to this life altering decision was that it became clear to me that whatever one believes about themselves on the inside is what manifests on the outside.
In other words, we can’t have a positive life with a negative mind. This is because our life is a direct reflection of who we are & what we think about.
It also became apparent to me that we simply can not expect others to love and have faith & compassion in us if we don’t extend these wonderful things to ourselves first.
So, I trained myself to be acutely aware of my thoughts and decided to shower myself with the kindest, most loving encouraging words on a daily basis.
To this day, I still falter but whenever negative self talk appears, I’d make a conscious decision to replace them with positivity. This is what made turn the previously ‘destructive’ relationship around – I became my very own best friend.
Learning to wholeheartedly love myself, flaws and all, was one of the biggest and most important life lessons I’ve learned thus far. That said, I know that it’s a continuous journey – something that we need to work on and maintain on a regular basis.
Read More: It’s Time to Love Yourself
I’ve come to understand that how others see us is not nearly as important as how we choose to perceive ourselves. After all, the only validation that we truly need is one that we give to ourselves.
While letting go of negative self talk that we’re so accustomed to may not be a breezy walk in the park, it’s the only way that we can start to allow ourselves to become the very best version of who we are and to create the life that we’ve always dreamed of.
It’s time for all of us to let go of self defeating chatter and make the decision to treat ourselves with the same compassion, kindness, and encouragement we would extend to our loved ones.
Stop making yourself the enemy, instead, choose to become your biggest raving fan – your very own best friend.
PS: Be sure to check out our 20-Minute Self-Love Guided Meditation, it’s a quick yet powerful boost that’ll help you cultivate a better & more loving connection with yourself!
Read More: How to Let Go Our Need for Validation
Struggling when it comes to comparing yourself to others? Unsure how you can break the habit? Why not consider working with a coach to gain clarity and let go the need of external validation. Book your FREE exploratory session today and step closer to living your authentic & best life!
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