“To avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.” — Elbert Hubbard
If you ever stood up for anything or put yourself out there throughout your lifetime, chances are that you’ve dealt with your fair share of criticism.
As Brené Brown, a renowned researcher and author so eloquently put it “If you’re going to show up and be seen, there is only one guarantee, and that is, you will get your ass kicked … That’s the only certainty you have. If you’re going to go in the arena (of life) and spend any time in there whatsoever, especially if you’ve committed to creating in your life, you will get your ass kicked (aka receive criticism). “
Not all criticisms are bad of course, constructive criticism for example can be priceless and can help us to improve – whether it’s on a professional and/or personal terms.
Nevertheless, though we are aware of this logically, most of us still find it hard to take criticism with a grain of salt – even if it is delivered with the best of intentions. It seems that no matter how many compliments we get, it seems that it’s always those few criticisms that end up lingering and replaying over and over again in our head.
Having received countless criticisms, I’ve learned a couple of valuable lessons over the years that helps me better deal with criticism. I hope that you too will find these simple tips as effective in responding to criticism and save yourself from a great deal of unnecessary pain.
Read More: How to Effectively Deal With Difficult People
1. Reflect Without Judgement
It’s natural and normal to feel defensive, hurt, or angry when someone criticizes you. Our first instinct is often to reject the feedback entirely or to justify ourselves. However, taking a step back and reflecting, without judgment, can be incredibly powerful.
From my own experience, I’ve noticed that the criticisms that trigger me the most often contain at least a grain of truth. When a comment hits a nerve, it’s sometimes because, deep down, I recognize that there’s something I could work on or improve.
If you’re unsure about the comment or feedback you’ve been given, instead of reacting immediately, try responding with openness. You may say something like “Perhaps you’re right. I’ll think about it.”
In contrast, if you sincerely believe that the comment was 100% untrue, don’t waste another second thinking about it, let it go and move on.
2. Keep Calm and Smile
Here’s the reality — sometimes criticism isn’t about helping you, it’s about provoking you. There are people who offer unsolicited or harsh comments simply to get a reaction. They may feel threatened, insecure, or simply enjoy stirring negativity.
In those moments, remember this: you can’t control what others say, but you can control how you respond.
Instead of engaging, defending, or reacting emotionally, stay calm. Smile (even if you have to fake it) and walk away. Refusing to react is often the most powerful response. Don’t allow someone else’s negativity to steal your peace, energy, or focus.
Your time and emotional bandwidth are precious, save them for people and pursuits that uplift you instead.
3. Don’t Take it Personally
Taking criticism personally is one of the hardest habits to break. When feedback is directed at us, it’s easy to interpret it as an attack on our character or worth. But often, criticism is about a behavior, a choice, or a piece of work — not who you are at your core.
There were times when I immediately took constructive feedback as an (personal) insult, only to realize later that it was simply pointing out a better way to approach something. Learning to separate who you are from what you do is a powerful skill that supports both emotional resilience and personal growth.
It’s also important to remember that some criticisms reflect the critic, not you. People often project their fears, insecurities, and unresolved issues onto others, especially online, where anonymity emboldens negativity. If someone doesn’t know you personally and still offers ruthless comments, their words say more about them than about you.
When someone says something for the sole reason to knock you down and to make you feel bad, in hopes to stop you from doing what you do, perhaps it’s comforting to keep in mind that we can never please everyone (nor should we). After all, even the world’s wisest & most loved souls such as Mother Teresa and Nelson Mandela had their fair share of critics.
As the great Theodore Roosevelt said…
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or whether the doer of deeds could have them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms; the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievements and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.“
In short, don’t let criticism silence you or dim your light. Keep showing up. Keep creating. Keep sharing your unique voice with the world and choose to shine on!
Read more: Reclaim Your Power: Why Taking Responsibility Changes Everything
PS: Criticism can often plant seeds of self-doubt, making us question our worth, abilities, and path. If you’ve been feeling shaken or unsure of yourself after facing criticism, I invite you to take a few moments to reconnect with your inner strength.
In this 10 Minute Guided Meditation to Break Free From Self-Doubt, you’ll be gently guided to quiet negative self-talk, rebuild self-trust, and step back into your confidence. Hit play and let this session be a loving reminder that your voice, your vision, and your journey, matter.
Has criticism and self-doubt have been holding you back? You don’t have to navigate it alone! Book a FREE Discovery Call with me and let’s work together to strengthen your confidence, clarify your direction, and show up fully in life.
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